According the Myers-Briggs Personality Inventory I am an INFJ.
Introverted. Intuitive. Feeling. Judging.
One of the things which that means is I often lead with what I feel, and respond accordingly. Most of the time that serves me well, but not always. In the past it has kept me from facing difficult and complicated situations and making decisions which I knew needed to be made because I knew others would be hurt. Often all that did was prolong the difficulty. As I have grown older I have learned that sometimes I have to acknowledge my feelings, then set them aside and make decisions on what I believe or the values I do my best to hold onto or what I know is best. Today is one of those days.
I am big on gratitude.
I think an honest and sincere deepening sense of gratitude is one of the hallmarks of people of faith. Gratitude opens us to others and to the world around us and lessens the sense of “I deserve it” which is pushed into our lives in countless ways countless times each day. Maybe too often I remind others that Thank you is often our first and our best prayer. In the end, it is quite possible I am only reminding myself.
I am finding it hard to feel grateful.
I am worried about my Mom.
I am worried about my wife’s Dad.
I am worried about long time friends who are in the hospital.
And, the sky is grey.
And while I like winter, I find myself longing for sunshine and the first hint of a spring breeze which is still months away.
And, the headlines in the news…
I can’t even go there.
So, today I have to chose.
Go with and give into my feelings?
Or do my best to acknowledge and name what I am feeling and then set them aside?
Even with all I am feeling
I will do my best to chose gratitude.