Tag: Confirmation

Quit Going To Church

For more than 40 years I led Confirmation programs.
I resisted calling them classes.
They were more conversations or explorations.
My goal was less to teach high school students something about the history and doctrine of the Christian church as it was to help them reimagine God and the place of faith in their lives and what it might mean to follow Jesus and not just believe in him.

This past year, through the program ministry of Holmes Camp and Retreat Center, a friend and I led an online Confirmation program both as a response to the Covid pandemic, and as a way to provide a Confirmation experience for youth in smaller congregations. As we wrapped up the program, we invited two other friends – a middle aged white man and a 23 year old African-American woman – to join our conversation and to respond to questions which the group had brainstormed the week before. It was engaging to listen to how both of them talked about the place of faith in their lives and how their understanding of God had changed over time and what it meant for them to follow Jesus. But, it was one of the final comments made by the young woman which most caught my attention. “I also think of church as a verb,” she said. It was a follow up comment to the reflection that one way to think of God is as a verb – what God does – instead of a noun – who God is.

Church as a verb.
I like that.
I have long resisted and backed away from saying something like:
I’m going or we’re going to church.
Saying that too easily relegates church to what we do for an hour or so on Sunday morning.
Instead church should be a verb.
An action.
My action.
Your action.
Our action.
So that anywhere we see or embody compassion or caring or kindness…
Anywhere we see or embody creativity or welcome or a striving for justice…
There is church.

So quit going to church.
Instead, see it and name it and be it and do it.

Don’t Fit In: A Reflection for Confirmation Sunday

I am certain you already know this, but just to make sure. I speak for Kathy as well as myself when I say that when she and I talk with you about what it means to follow Jesus or about how we think about and imagine God, it is more than just words and more than just what we are supposed to say or do. In all the conversations we had over the last year, we were sharing with you something that is an important part of our lives. Something she and I take seriously and, even though, like you, she and I still have a lot to learn, our faith is something we do our best to put into practice each day. For us God is not a man in the sky. Or a woman, for that matter. Or a person with a beard. Or a person period. A force, maybe. A presence, yes. At least for me. I can tell you there have been times in my life when I felt there was something more with me or around me or holding me up or pushing me forward.

But most of the time, for me, my faith in God and following Jesus is a choice I make. A choice about the type of person I want to be and about how I want to live and about how I want the world to be and not about believing a certain list of things or feeling a certain way or making it to heaven someday. Getting to knowing you from our Sunday conversations and reading through your Statements of Faith, I think you get that.

So, here is what I want to say to you today starting with a snapshot of the world in which you live.

From the hallways of your schools to the seats of power and probably everywhere in between there are people who put other people down.
Who think it is okay to make jokes about those who are different.
Or, exclude those who don’t quite fit in.
All to make themselves look better or feel superior or maintain their place in the pecking order.

And, racism is real and racist incidents are on the rise.
As are attacks, both physical and verbal, on Jews. On Muslims.
On immigrants. On those who don’t have what you and I have.

And, there are some people use religion like a wedge.
Or, a hammer. Or even as a weapon.
My way or no way.
My way of thinking or believing or acting or you are wrong or bad or going to hell. So, get out of the way.

And, all that is only a start.

I find all that hard to understand when I believe all of us
Each and every one of us
Is a child of God. Made in God’s image.
I find all that hard to reconcile with the Bible when it says God is love. And, with what I know about Jesus who included those whom others did their best to ignore or to turn away or to exclude.

So, I am going to ask you to do something and to be something I am not sure I was able to do or be when I was 14 or 15. But, I am going to ask anyway.
And, that is don’t fit in.
Dare to be different.
Dare to think differently.
Dare to believe differently.
Dare to act differently.
Take what we have talked about this year and what you wrote about in your Statements of Faith and transform those words into actions. Make them a part of who you are and how you try to live each and every day.

And, don’t just be kind.
Be courageously kind.
Even if it means standing up or speaking out.
Don’t just be nice young men.
Treat others…all others…with respect.
Treat others…all others…the way you would like to be treated if you were in their shoes.
Take what you know about God
Take what you understand about what it means to follow Jesus
And live it.
Lead the way.
Whether about gun violence or inclusion or the environment. Or, about racism or sexism or how you answer the question “Who is my neighbor?”

Do that.
Then, push me and others to follow.
Please.

Caught Not Taught

This Sunday, we will celebrate the Confirmation of seven young men who have been a part of our congregation’s Confirmation program this year. They will stand in our midst. They will share their Statements of Faith, a snapshot at 14 or 15 years old of what they think and understand and believe about God and what it means to follow Jesus. And, as a congregation, we will gather around them, both literally and figuratively, knowing that the promises we made when they were baptized are not yet fulfilled.

I have led Confirmation classes and programs for forty years.
It is still something of a mystery and challenge of how to help young adults make room in their lives and thinking for that which we know and name as God and to ask and explore the question of what it means to listen to the words of a person who lived 2000+ years ago. And, to let those words reshape your life.

I don’t remember where I first heard it, but I think it is true.
Faith is caught not taught.
So my hope is that somehow in those hundreds of conversations over all those years I have been contagious. That something of my own life and faith, something of my own questions and searching, something of my own sense of the Holy and efforts to follow Jesus has rubbed off.

So, to those who are being confirmed on Sunday.
Go with God.
And, may your strength and vision be added to mine as we do our best to bend that long arc of history in the direction of justice and do our part of help God’s Kingdom come a bit closer for us and for all.

7 Questions: A Conversation

Following worship this morning, seven young men, who since last October, have been meeting on most Sunday afternoons with Kathy and me as a part of our Confirmation program, will meet with leaders of our congregation to share their Statements of Faith which they have been asked to write, and to talk about what their experience in Confirmation has been like including what they have learned and what questions they still have. Next Sunday we will recognize them. And celebrate with them and their families who they are and the faith and the questions and the hopes that are a part of their lives. It is a wonderful moment for them and for us.

A couple weeks ago, as Kathy and I were trying to wrap up the year and to pull together threads of the various conversations we had had, we came up with seven questions for our evening conversation. One question for each of the students. We wrote the questions on note cards and placed them face down on the table. One by one, each student drew a card, read the question and shared their response. Then the rest of us were invited to add our thoughts as well.

Which leads to this.
One of the comments I regularly receive as we approach the end of Confirmation is how impressed adults are with the ability of 14 year olds to put words around their faith. So, as I thought about them and what we ask them to do and thought about you and our time together this morning, I thought “Why don’t we give you the opportunity to do what we asked 14 year olds to do.” So, here are the questions we asked:

How would you describe God to someone who had never been to church?
What do you think prayer is? How do you pray?
What does it mean to follow Jesus (vs believing in Jesus)?
How would you describe BPC to someone else? And, describe why you are a part of BPC.
What does faith mean to you?
What do you do or can you do as a reminder of what it means to follow Jesus?
Is it possible to be a Christian (follow Jesus) and also believe other religions are just as worthy, meaningful and truthful?

We had a hour with them.
We only have 10-15 minutes with you, but we will give it a try.
Kathy has the cards and a microphone.
Who would like to chose one and start the conversation?
Besides being respectful, the only thing you are not allowed to make in Confirmation is “I don’t know.” That rule applies to this morning, as well.

And so the conversation began.

God Everywhere: A Reflection for Confirmation Sunday

Nick and Lydia, what I want to say this morning is primarily to you.
Everyone else can listen in.
There is a verse in Christian scripture which begins like this:
Since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses…
In a moment that cloud of witness who gather here today in this place as Bedford Presbyterian Church will surround you with both their presence and their prayers. We are not perfect. We don’t have all the answers. But we do try to ask the right questions. Like with our lives as they are and the world as it is what does it mean to love God and to love our neighbors, and to treat others the way we would like to be treated if we were in their shoes? What does it mean to be the light of the world?
If you forget everything else about today I would ask you to remember this.
We are here with you and for you.
Celebrating who you uniquely are.
And, with you, asking questions and reaching for answers and understanding.
And, walking with you as we do our best to follow Jesus.
So if you forget everything else…
Or, when life gets hard…
Or, when you are not sure what to think or what to believe or if God or faith has a place in your life and world, may you remember today and this moment. And always have a sense of this community which cares about you and for you and which adds its faith to yours.

But along with that there are two other things I want to say to you today.
The first is an affirmation. The second is a reminder.
The affirmation comes from the Statements of Faith which you wrote.
And that is, God is and God everywhere.
God is with you and with us. God is within each and all of us. Yet, while we all have images of who or what God is, God is also more than we can ever fully know or name. Lydia, you are right. God is that presence you feel when you walk in the woods or marvel at the complexity and beauty and miracle of life. Nick you are right. God is that presence which helps you find or maintain a balance in your life. When life gets crazy or you get pulled in a hundred different directions, God is that reminder of that which is most important. God is wrapped up in those moments when you know love or have your breath taken away by beauty or when hope gives you the courage to stand up for what you know to be right. God is there when forgiveness heals broken relationships and in the support and care extended in times of need. God is a part of that which inspires your dreams and your vision of a better tomorrow.
That is what you wrote. And I believe all that is true.

And now, this reminder.
I hope you remember God is not just a noun, but also a verb.
Not just presence, but action.
The question to ask is not just who or what is God.
The question to ask is what does God do?
If we can identify that…if you can name that and know that…then you and we can better understand how we are called to act and what we are called to do. This is where all those stories in the Bible come into play.
They provide a snapshot of that action.
A picture of what God as a verb looks like.
Healing.
Helping.
Caring.
Including.
Welcoming.
Building up.
Restoring.
Saving.
The list goes on.
As I shared with you in a conversation we had one Sunday evening, here is what I believe. Any time we do any of those things I just mentioned, we stand close to God and our lives move in the direction of God’s Kingdom come. So, remember this. God is not just a presence, something you feel or experience or know. God is also a verb. Something you do.

So, Lydia and Nick…
Here you are at the end of Confirmation and at the beginning of the next part of the journey surrounded by this great cloud of witnesses who do their best to follow Jesus. We add our faith to yours just as you add your faith to ours. Welcome.
And, continued blessings for both of you.
Always.

A Reflection for Confirmation Sunday

Last Monday evening was not the first time.
And, I trust, even hope, it will not be the last time.
Something you said to Kathy and to me last Monday struck home and made me stop and think. It took a little while for what you said to sink in, but eventually it did. Here is what I heard in our conversation together as we wrapped up the year and talked about our time together in Confirmation. One of the things you appreciated was the opportunity to think and to talk about the topics and ideas we did.
About how we imagine and think about and talk about God?
And about where and how Christianity fits in with other religious traditions.
And where all that fits in with your life.
And, about the values connected to our faith and the values which are important to you?
And, about what those values mean for how we live?
For how you treat others.
And for how you make decisions and think about the world in which we live?
I get all that.
That is what Kathy and I hope Confirmation is about.

But then you added this.
What you said to us is there are not very many, if any, other times or places in your life where those type of topics come up and are openly and honestly talked about – values, faith, what you believe, what is important to you. Times and places where you have an opportunity and the challenge to put words around what you are thinking and feeling and to listen to others do the same. And, while fitting one more thing into your schedule of school and homework and sports and whatever else was sometimes hard, I had the sense that, for the most part, you found the conversations we had important and meaningful.

Which brings me to this.
A thousand times in the next several years, people are going to ask you what you think you might like to do. What classes you might like to take? What college you may want to attend. What career you might want to pursue? But, few people, if any, will ask you, with the same level of seriousness and interest, what type of person you want to be?
Kind.
Compassionate.
Caring.
Giving.
Faithful.
Someone who makes a difference.
Someone who does their best to do what is right even when doing the right thing is hard.
Then, having asked you that first question, ask you what you need to learn and where you are going to go to practice so those qualities and characteristics and values become more and more a part of your life.

Our conversation last Monday made me think about this.
Maybe that is why you found Confirmation meaningful.
We talked about things you don’t have a chance to talk about anywhere else.
Maybe behind our drawing pictures of God and your being encouraged to read the Bible more as poetry than a textbook and talking about what it means to believe in something…
Maybe behind all those conversations was the question…
What type of person do you want to be?
What are you going to believe in/put your trust in that is going to guide and to shape your life?
What values will be important to you no matter what profession you chose to pursue?
For me, all the things we talked about – God and Jesus and faith and church – all have something to do with how you and I respond to those questions.

So, let me leave you with this.
The verses from the Bible I selected for this morning which Olivia read a moment ago are about our being the light of the world. You being the light of the world. So, whatever ever else you do – business person, teacher, race car driver, athlete, dancer, whatever – work on being that. A light to others.

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Several things I believe: