The mother of a good friend is dying.
She has been struggling with health issues for sometime now.
Last week, in consultation with her doctors treatment was stopped and hospice was called. The body of my friend’s Mom is worn out even though her mind is still sharp. That being the case, she is very much aware of what is happening to her. As my friend wrote in an email as they move through these days they spend what time they have remembering and reminiscing and telling stories not told in a long time. There are tears and laughter and times of just sitting quietly in one another’s presence. And, while it is family who gathers now to watch and wait and to laugh and cry, all of them are surrounded by the thoughts and prayers of many who offer strength and care and concern in whatever way prayer does.
I know my friend’s mother, but not well.
But I do know her well enough to know that her’s has been a life well lived.
I am sure there are regrets.
I am sure there are moments she wishes she could go back and do over.
I am sure there is a list of those things yet undone that she meant to get to…someday.
We all have those moments in our lives.
But here is what I know from a distance…
She loved long and deeply.
She sustained over the years a wonderful relationship with her husband.
She was the mother to two children and a grandmother to one.
She made music with her life and with her family.
She prayed deeply and did her best to live well and with intentionality.
I am sure the list goes on.
What I find myself thinking about as I pray for my friend and her mother and her family is this. There is something worse than dying.
My friend’s mother is dying surrounded by love.
How much worse would it be to die angry or resentful or full of hate?
How much worse would it be to die lonely or alone or forgotten?
How much worse would it be?
As I get older my own mortality comes close.
I am not nearly ready for that moment to come, but when it comes, like my friend’s mother, I hope that in that moment I am surrounded by stories and laughter and tears and love.
There are somethings worse than dying.
Leave a Reply