Lost

Maybe its because I am a pastor.
Or, maybe its because I have been a part of a community of faith all my life.
And heard and read stories from the Bible.
Or, maybe it is just the way my mind works.
Whatever the reason, certain verses of the Bible have become stuck in my mind.
Lodged there somehow.
Waiting for that moment
When they push their way, unbidden, to the surface of my consciousness.
Like one did today.
This verse from Psalm 139.
Where can I go from your spirit?
Or, where can I flee from your presence?

I don’t particularly feel like I am fleeing from God.
But, I do feel a bit lost.
Lost in my worry about family and friends.
Lost in the weariness which comes towards the end of a year and before a vacation.
Lost in my effort to keep track of and stay on top of a million details.

The response to the questions asked in Psalm 139 is:
No where.
There is no where I can flee.
No where I can go.
No where I can be.
And escape the presence of God.
Not even lost.

I can’t prove this is true.
That that which I know and name as God is present.
In each and in all of those moments.
But, I can hold onto it.
Trusting that goodness and grace and hope surround me.
Even if
Even when
I don’t know it or feel it.