Just sitting…

For years I kept track of my life using lists.
A list for the day and a list for a week. 
Years ago they were lists written on a pad of paper with tasks crossed off once they were completed.  Then, they were typed lists instead of hand-written lists. And now, with the aid of apps on both my computer and my phone, my lists go with me almost everywhere.  And, besides that, I am able to keep track of what I need to do months from now and even a year from now.
All of which is good, but…
I have forgotten how to just sit.
Or, at least to sit and to be and to not do, and to not feel guilty or that I should get up and do something.

Which brings me to today.
For the last couple of days I have, for the most part, just sat.
I sat and read a book.
I sat on the front porch and looked at the stone wall I built a couple of years ago.
When it got to chilly outside I moved inside and sat looking out the window.
No great thoughts.
No planning for the future.
No figuring out strategies or next steps.
So very different from how I usually am. 
And, so very different than the lists that I keep.

For most of my life I have been a doer.
Pastor. Parent. Coach. Trip leader. Board member. Builder. Creator.
I like being active.
I like learning.
I like dreaming up new ideas to try.
But, maybe I have forgotten how to just sit.
And, to be.
And, to have that be okay.

Maybe it is time to learn something new.