I visited my Mom this week.
Her life is winding down.
I sat by the side of her bed and we talked.
Small talk about the weather.
Remembering trips we took as a family.
Asking if she would like a sip of water.
In the silence between the conversations her gaze would be someplace else and I would look at her wondering where she was and what she was thinking. When I interrupted the silence and asked, her eyes would refocus on me and she would seemed surprised by the question. “I was just looking at the blankets stacked on the chair.” She said.
While I will never know
I hope, in those moments, she is someplace else.
Someplace beyond her hospital style bed.
Someplace beyond the walls of the skilled nursing facility which is now her home.
I hope she is someplace surrounded by the memories of my Dad.
And, the love they shared.
And, the years they had together.
And, their standing together to meet the challenges and joy of raising three sons and going to college and receiving degrees and fashioning careers and providing for their family.
I hope she is surrounded by memories of her children and grandchildren and her great-grandson. I hope their voices and laughter and presence fill her heart.
I hope she is lost in the love which surrounds her.